Uncomfortable

Awake My Soul 

 There's a way to get to Heaven 
That the darkness can't explain 
There's a bright and glorious future 
For the ones who walk in grace 

 But it's hard, so hard to see 
When my fear is blinding me 

 Shatter windows, fill these holes 
Come Awake My Soul 
Bring Your love into my wreckage 
Then will I be whole 

 There's a joy, it's overflowing 
Saying I'm no longer lost 
There's a peace, a peace in knowing 
Jesus found me on that cross 

 Shatter windows, fill these holes 
Come Awake My Soul 
Bring Your love into my wreckage
Then will I be whole


 I wrote this song a couple weeks ago as a prayer for myself because over the course of my life, I have said, "no" to God a lot. I am one who is easily made uncomfortable. I am never one to be found in a crowd of people. I collapse under confrontation. When people ask something of me, even something like leading worship which I believe is my calling, I make up a reason why I can't when really I just don't want to be under the pressure. The problem with my thinking is it's all about how I feel and not about who God is.

 My Father loved me so much that He thought of me before the earth was made. He knew what I would be comfortable and uncomfortable with long before I knew who I was. Despite what I am comfortable with, He has given me a calling. It doesn't matter what I feel about it or whether I believe I am capable. My job is to say, "Yes Lord." He doesn't ever expect more of us than what we are capable of bringing. On top of that, even though I may cower in fear at the thought of standing in front of people and leading worship, it is when I am doing just that, that I am truly comfortable. When I finally let go of myself and allow God to do His work instead, that is when everything falls into place.

 It is really hard to see God's miracles when you are blinded by your fears. That is why it is my prayer that God would break into the hearts of His people and shake them up. If we aren't feeling challenged to be more like Jesus then we are frozen in our walk. My prayer is that all of us would wake up and feel His love calling us to use our giftings. Jesus wasn't comfortable on the cross. We are now His hands and feet. Why would it be okay for our selfishness to get in the way of God's work?